So today was the first day back to our normal routine after our Christmas vacation. While vacation was reminiscent of our family's favorite Christmas movie "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation" complete with unexpected stops and unexpected visitors (stomach flu and food poisoning for multiple members) it was still much better than the first day back to our daily routines.
It does not seem that all is right with the world when we have to spend the majority of our waking hours away from our children just to provide the basics to them. I went from having long lazy days with Belle to having 2 hours, both of which were spent preparing dinner, eating dinner and then bathtime. This is not the childhood that I want our daughter to have.
Had you asked me what my career aspirations were on June 16, 2009 I would have said something along these lines, "Oh I'll go back to work at 12 weeks, the baby will go to daycare. Then I will keep climbing that ladder." On June 17, 2009, my answer became: "I just want to stay home and drink in every minute that I can with our daughter. She needs a mommy that is successful not a successful mommy." Until that day, I was oblivious to how much I would yearn to be nothing more than a good mommy.
That being said, I make sure that I never apologize to her for "having to go to work". I don't want her to grow up to think that the job took me away from her as I want her to learn to be successful and independent. We all need to work for what we have and be proud of our accomplishments. We should never apologize for working hard. The struggle for me is in finding this balance, if it exists.
I am currently contemplating various programs in order to return to college to earn my Master's in Counseling for school counseling. My favorite part of teaching high school kids was that they felt they could come to me for advice, guidance or a shoulder to cry on when things got rough. Kids have it so much harder in this day and age than we did some short 15 years ago. Times are different...there is no disconnection from their social circles thanks to electronic media outlets. So many parents are just sadly not involved in their kids lives as much as our parents were. My parents were great at being involved without hovering.
It seems that this would be the best fit for my problem. My students helped me come to this realization even two years after I've been out of the schools. I would still get to help kids, learn and grow in my abilities as a leader and educator and I would get to spend so much more precious time with my baby thanks to the generous time off allotted with the traditional school year. Many of my girlfriends are teachers and I know they struggle with their own issues related to leaving their kids with strangers while they work. It is a horrible feeling no matter how you shake it. Nothings perfect and I would never belittle their concerns but teaching/being in schools definitely has its benefits over being employed in the private sector and working 351 days per year.
My high school counselor is a "facebook" friend and I contacted him recently for any advice he could give me about my potential career change. His answer did not surprise me in that he let me find the answer on my own through my question to him. Mr. Hensler...if you are reading this you've still got it. :)
So I'm off to do a little more research on programs before making a decision as to where to apply. Wish me luck and stay tuned. To my friends and family, I love you and good night. To everyone else...sweet dreams! May God keep you safe until morning light.
You were honestly the ONLY teacher in bowler that I felt that I could come and talk to when I had a problem. I graduated almost 2 years ago now. The whole time I was in high school I always thought I was never gona miss any of that bs. But now that I look back at it... I do. One of the things I miss most about highschool was spanish II. That was my favorite class. Me, brittny and diane always had sooo much fun in that class, and at the same time we were still learning. I would do anything to go back to 8th hr in my senior year again. I miss it so much. You were the best teacher I could have asked for. Somehow you always had us smiling and laughing while we were learning. Britt and I had so much fin in that class. I am very thankful that I had you for my spanish teacher. Miss you guys :) maybe ill run into you and your family in sams club again one of these days lol :) and from all that.. I'm sure you already know who this comment is from? Lol
ReplyDeleteTrenia, you make such a good point here. I couldn't agree more. I am lucky to work 2 days a week and sometimes even that seems like a lot of being away from them. What i don't get is why this is a problem for our generation of women and wasn't years ago? Doesn't it almost seem like women had more options then (as far as staying home full time)?
ReplyDeleteHey Lisa,
ReplyDeleteMy sister and I were just talking about this tonight She was on her way to work where she is an ER RN and I was on my way home from work. She said the same thing you did that it's hard for her and only working 3 days/week. I don't understand what has changed for our generation It's not like they had it easy but at least they had the choice to stay home and not have to worry about the family being homeless or hungry because of it. I wish we could get some of our mothers who were able to stay home when we were little to let us know what their perspective is on this. Until we figure it out all we can do is hope and pray that our little ones know how much we love them.
Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteYes I know exactly who you are. You are much more talented than you ever let yourself believe and you kids challenged me as much as I challenged you. I must say that I did look forward to all of my classes but that year's 8th hour was certainly one of the highlights. Your kind words bring tears to my eyes. Actually talking to you, Britt and Diana and trying to help guide you three to search for your dare to be great moment. I'm honored that you felt you could come to me with anything. You know that you still can. Anytime. :)