My Christmas Wish 2012

Prior to last Friday, most Americans with children were scrambling around trying to find the "perfect" must-have item for Santa to give to their kids on Christmas.  The most important things on our minds were something like this: Must get presents, must wrap presents, must buy fixings for dinner, must go to party X, must do, must do, must do..."never enough time to get it all done" and "time flies faster every year" were likely staples of our conversations.

Last Friday should have been nothing more than 11 days before Christmas.  Evil on Earth changed that and changed the majority of Americans in the process.  A nameless soul-less entity walking the Earth charged into an elementary school and murdered 26 innocent children and instructors.  There are now 26 families that will not see their children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, daughters, mothers, aunts, sisters and brothers until they are themselves raised up to Heaven's gates with God's grace. 

We have had over 70 mass killings worlwide in schools since 1996, according to Infoplease.com.  All but 18 of those have been here in the United States.  In case you are keeping note, that's one roughly every 4 years.  In other words, once during every typical high school career there will be a shooting in a school in the U.S. 

In my 34 years on this Earth, I have gone from having an idyllic childhood, where I could roam and never worry about more than being home by dinnertime, to witnessing some of the most horrific acts known to mankind. I've witnessed the attack on the Federal building in Oklahoma, the Columbine high school massacre, the DC sniping case, the Westwood Mall shooting, the Colorado movie theater massacre, the attack on AZ governor and others, the attacks of 9/11 and now the murder of innocent young children en masse. These have all occurred since 1995.  This equals one travesty of morality just over every 2 years. Each one seems to want to top the last.  

Some will say it's the guns.  Some will say it's the lack of religion in schools.  Some will say it's the lack of support for mental illness.  Some unimaginably will say it's the first victim's fault.  I will say it's the lack of a moral compass in this country. 

We, as a society, have our morals backwards. We look to strangers and celebrities on TV to guide us in determining what is right or wrong. We should be looking at the best of the best in our society to guide our morals as a Nation. The teachers who died protecting our children, the police, fire, ems and pastoral care workers that have come to the rescue and do so every day. The soldiers who risked their lives so that I could sit here on my arse and write prose about the possibilities in life. They are our moral guides.

Morals are not religion.  Morals are the difference between humans and animals.  We have lost our way in this country.  REGARDLESS OF YOUR THOUGHTS ON GUNS, RELIGION, MENTAL ILLNESS, PARENTING OR ANY OF THE OTHER CANS BEING KICKED DOWN THE ROAD, WE ARE FAILING AS A SOCIETY.  Morals must be the basis of any society that is to be humane, just and worth existing. 

By definition:
morals plural of mor·al (Noun)

Noun A lesson, esp. one concerning what is right or prudent, that can be derived from a story, a piece of information, or an experience. A person's standards of behavior or beliefs concerning what is and is not acceptable for them to do.   Morals do not come from religion.  Morals are grown from the cultivation of all that is good in the human heart.  We as a society seem to be more interested in who is winning the latest reality TV show or who is breaking up with their celebrity boyfriend/girlfriend.  We protect our cars, homes, businesses, entertainment complexes, airports, museums and shopping centers with alarms, buzzers, security guards and pat-downs.  WHY MUST WE DEBATE PROTECTING OUR CHILDREN???   We need to dial into the world in which we live.  Become engaged in the lives we have been gifted! Identify our most precious resources - life, liberty, pursuit of happiness and of course our children.  Then stand guard and be willing to die to protect them.  Only when we are willing to do this, will we begin to solve this morality problem in our society and begin to restore our security.    As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.  We will also protect our most precious of gifts at all costs.  My Christmas wish is that it will be enough.

Driving My Grandma

When I first got my driver's license, there was nothing better than driving endlessly through the winding country backroads of southern Indiana.  I spent most of my weekends and summers doing just that with no real destination in mind.  Who accompanied me in that beautiful 1975 Plymouth Duster pristine antique?  Sometimes my best friends, my parents, most of the time my sister and my grandma or just my grandma.  If I needed to clear my head or just catch my breath, we'd go for a ride.  I knew those rides were important back then but not nearly as much as I realize today.

It has been a very upsetting time for my family lately.  We have faced multiple deaths both expected and unexpected.  We are confronted with multiple serious health concerns with several family members.  And Thursday, I was informed that my position was being eliminated as part of a Reduction in Force action effective Aug 31.  I think this was the final straw that broke all sense of security that I had achieved up to this point.  Two years prior to the day, I started this job after 9 months of unexpected job reductions with my previous employer. 

I'm saddened, shocked, angry, disbelieving...I'm grieving for all of the above.  Finally.  I believe it's been easier to just tuck it away and keep moving along hoping against hope that things will turn around.  Die-hard optimist to the end.  Until the job cut.  What will we do if I'm unable to find another position?  We need medical insurance which I currently carry.  My husband was told by his physician to quit one of his full time jobs 2 days prior to this job cut.  He was going to turn in resignation the day I got cut.  Now he can't until we know I have another position with benefits not to mention the need for the income just in case there is no position to be found.  What about my daughter?  She'll need a different daycare if I can't get a position in the clinic.  How much is that going to harm her development considering her attachment to her friends and teachers?  When will I get to go to Indiana to see my family?  Can I continue with school?  God how I love my classes and the future that path will lead me to in my mind! 

The questions and worries all came flooding at once.  So I went for a drive.  A long endless drive.  After a long day of sight-seeing and splash pad fun, Bella slept in the carseat very soundly.  I got to the exit to go home and had no desire to turn off the freeway.  I turned onto the next off ramp and I drove.  And drove.  And drove.  Windows down, music up, anger, fear, grief, sadness flowing down my cheeks.  The kind of soul-cleansing cry that is silent but powerful.  When my tears were gone, I swear my grandma was in the seat beside me.  I could hear her saying, "Let's just drive, sissy.  We'll go find Heaven."  I heard my mom saying, "Just be still and listen.  The answer will come."  Dad's quiet calm echoing over it all.  And with that, out of nowhere as I watched a beautiful country summer sunset and turned toward home, Robert Frost's poem came to mind.  I had to laugh out of loud.  One of my all time favorites and haven't thought about it for ages: 

"I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."

Now I know that my grandma is still riding right along with me afterall.  Mom and dad you're talking to me even when you aren't.  All of the characters of my past and present.  And that has made all the difference.    

Fallen Heros

I had fully intended to write about the injustice of moms not accepting other moms' decisions to either work or stay at home however we have unfortunately had something much more important take over for the last few days.

My husband is a damn proud phi sigma kappa alum from UW-River Falls.  He also is a firefighter and paramedic as you know.  Sunday he lost a brother.  Lt. Jamison Kampmeyer was his college buddy, phi sig brother and firefighter brother.  Lt. Kampmeyer answered his last alarm on Sunday, March 4, 2012 when the Abbotsford movie theater caught fire.  Lt. Kampmeyer and four others entered where mere civilians would never dare.  The roof collapsed, four made it out.  Lt. Kampmeyer did not.  He leaves behind a wife and 3 young boys.  He leaves behind a Sheriff's department and community that will all mourn their loss. 

He leaves behind a brotherhood of outstanding men that I have been very lucky to have in my life, the phi sigs from UW-RF.  We may not get together very often, but they have been involved in every major event of our daily lives together in one form or another.  Their wives are good wives, moms and friends.  We were trying to plan a multi-family outing for this summer before this happened.  I hope now more than ever that it moves beyond the "planning" to a definitive phase.  Our husband's need to band together.  This isn't their first loss of a brother at our young ages, unfortunately it won't be their last.  But through it all, they will be brothers.

Lt. Kampmeyer's other brotherhood is that of the firefighters.  I saved this for last because this is a nationwide brotherhood.  Through this process, I have realized more than ever that people who are not a family member of a firefighter will never quite grasp the heart-stopping grief that we all feel when one of our own answers the last alarm.  We've all been there, hoping today isn't THAT day.  My husband was a firefighter when we met in November 2001 online.  In those post-9/11 days, I would be remisce if I said it wasn't part of his appeal.  He was one of the good guys.  We've both grown a great deal since then.  Now that we have our daughter and having seen this day come to someone we know, it's not such an appeal.  But it's in his blood and always will be.  It's in all of their blood.  Just like my wonderful family that I grew up with, the firefighter family may not be perfect but it's just about as good as you can get this side of the pearly gates. 

My husband likes to quote Rescue Me's, Tommy Gavin orientation at the end of the final scene of the series...we are firefighters; we die a lot.  That sums it up for all of you that wear those helmets.  It's a fact of life that you somehow live with each day.  If only those of us that love each of you could be so accepting.

May our daughter never know the pain of THAT day so that all fire departments that we pass on our travels continue to be a source of joy for her.  Daddy's work...daddy's "amblance"...daddy's fire trucks.  Yes honey, we'll go see daddy this weekend at his "amblance" work.

Potty Chairs, Owls & Growing Up

Well it's been quite some time since I've written.  It's certainly not because there hasn't been anything happening in our lives.  In fact it's quite the contrary.  My hubby is on about day 17 or so of working non-stop with just one day off.  My daughter is becoming a big girl more and more everyday.  And of course...we have the owl issue.

My hubby has suddenly become worried that somehow he is going to manage to screw up our daughter for life by working a second job.  I know how he feels.  I felt the same way when I went back to work after being a stay at home mom for the first 9 months of our daughter's life.  Our deal with him getting another job was that he would work every other weekend.  It just so happens that plan isn't going to work this month because he has refresher courses offered 3 of the 4 weekends.  The fact is that our daughter loves her daddy and they are wrapped around each other's fingers.  Working some extra shifts isn't going to change that.  She will just need some extra daddy time when he is home.  I hope that he will be able to realize this and stop worrying about it sooner than later.

On other notes, today is the first day that our little monkey made it through a whole day without the help of the dreaded pullups other than for the ride to and from daycare and for her nap!  She also conquered the kiddie slide at the waterpark over the weekend!  We are so proud of our little lady. I am amazed every day at the wonderful little girl that she is becoming.

While taking the dog out for her nightly potty break, a great mystery was solved at our house.  Little lady has been occasionally having problems with waking up in tears during the night saying that there's an owl going hoo hoo outside that scared her.  My hubby and I have assumed there was merit to her claims although we've never heard this owl at all.  Well tonight I heard the owl and sure enough he's in the tree in the neighbor's yard.  My guess is that on the nights when she has been waking up scared, the owl has been getting a kill in the yard  Anyone who's ever heard that sound knows it's quite terrifying even for an adult!  She's not scared of him at all most of the time and has even recently been seeking anything with owls on it for decorations in her room.  I can't wait until she gets up in the morning to tell her that I finally heard her friend the owl. Most of the time it is good to live in an area with diverse wildlife!

That's about it tonight...I'm off to scour more pictures for my pinterest boards and coupons for my next grocery outing.  Have a wonderful night!

Daily Blessings

I believe that every day holds small little blessings if we are willing to look for them.  Take this evening for instance.  I needed to stop at Wal-Mart on the way home from work tonight to get a backup snow shovel and another bag of sidewalk salt in preparation for our upcoming 1st major snow event of the winter.  Coming out of the store at the speed of molasses in winter was an extremely elderly couple.  They saw me coming in the lot and politely stopped before walking even though they would have been in the pedestrian right of way.  I motioned for them to continue.  Mr walked fairly well with a cane and Mrs. barely walked without assistance stopping at least twice on the way to their vehicle.  I couldn't help but watch with admiration as he would hold out is crooked, wilted hand to give her some support every time she needed to stop.  I hope that my husband and I still look out for each other in this way when we are their age. 

As I continued on my way to find a parking spot in the busy pre-storm lot, a car started to back out right in front of me next to the handicapped spots.  What kind of luck is that?!  Maybe it was coincidence, maybe it was karma.  I like to believe it was one of my little daily blessings.

Look for yours tomorrow and your day will be great for one moment.
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On another note...money saving tip for the week.  When you know that you want to go in to a big box store for only one or two items, don't even think about grabbing a cart or picking up a handheld basket.  This way you will only be able to buy what you are able and willing to carry back to the front of those big box stores.  Other than the loss prevention strategy of having someone at the front entrance to a store, the other reason is that most people will take a cart when offered and then subconsciously spend more than they intended because it's so easy to pick up spontaneous purchases and toss them into the cart. 

Baby Alive and Other Necessary Evils of Mommyhood

If it weren't for the fact that last night's adventures gave me fodder for a potentially great blogpost, I might have lost my mind.  Hubby was working late at Job #1 which meant that Sugarplum and I were on our own for dinner.  This normally would not be a huge deal however we had a package arrive from Nan that inadvertently made this become problematic. 

This package that was at our doorstep was Sugarplum's beloved Bitty Baby and various other pieces of toys that were accidentally left behind after our Christmas visit to Nan and Papaw's house.  Bitty Baby was welcomed with much excitement and I know I breathed a sigh of relief that she wasn't lost enroute.  The problem arose in that one of those accessories in the box was the bottle that is required for eating and drinking by Sugarplum's Baby Alive. This was a momentous occasion because...GASP!...Baby Alive has been starved since December 30! 

I needed to get dinner ready and that is much easier to do if Sugarplum is well entertained.  What better entertainment than a starving dollbaby that actually poops and pees!?  I'm so smart to have thought of this solution...ummm....yeah.  Dinner got under way with Sugarplum feeding her Baby Alive in her dollbaby high chair at the kitchen table 4 feet from me.  The recipe stated 20 min until served.  It should take at least that long for Sugarplum to get bored.  Perfect solution.  This is how it unfolded:

Just as I was getting ready to add the rice...critical moment here...Baby Alive announces she needs a diaper change.  Turn heat down, go to changing table in bathroom and help change Baby Alive.  Return to the kitchen, turn heat back up, add rice.  Whew...I think it will still be ok.  Check on Sugarplum...all appears to be fine. Stir and add remaining ingredients.  Only 4-5 minutes and dinner's served!  Yeah, check me out!  I finally have this mommy thing down!  Check on Sugarplum...OH NO!!!  Wait what Why did you DO that?!  Oh crap!  Yes in all connotations of that phrase.  In those few precious moments that it took to add my pre-measured, pre-cut ingredients, Sugarplum had managed to silently unscrew the Baby Alive bottle and pour the "orange juice" into the "peas".

Why is this a big deal you may ask?  Well if you are asking that...you've never raised a two and half year old independent toddler.  The OJ and peas mixture was all over the table, Sugarplum's clothes and two chairs and the floor.  I ran to pick up the Bitty Baby from the other side of the table.  At that exact moment I learned that the brain's power of instant recall is of great use.  Bitty's cloth back was soaked with orange peas.

It was at that point that I heard my sister's voice (purchaser of the Bitty Baby) in a conversation that we had shared not more than a month prior to Christmas.  Sister -"Do you think that Sugarplum is going to be able to take care of the doll if we get it for her?  I'd really like for her to experience the American Girl world like Juice does.  (Juice is my oldest niece who is 9 months older than Sugarplum) But it's a very expensive doll and she has to be able to take care of it." Me-"Oh yeah...she loves her dollbabies and takes care of them all the time.  No problem there." 

The second flash of recall at this exact moment was the warning label on the packet of food for Baby Alive - "May stain clothing."  This is where the "Oh crap!" moment really sinks in.  I strip Sugarplum of all of her clothing since it's a new outfit that I really didn't want it to get stained.  Secondly I immediately read the care label on Bitty - Surface Wash Only.  Thank you God!  There is hope.  Grab the dishcloth, put soap on it with hot water and scrub like there is no tomorrow.  Place Bitty in the dish drying rack and pray the first of many prayers for the night - Please Dear Lord in Heaven...I know this shouldn't matter but please please let this Bitty NOT have a green back for the rest of her life!

Next, oh yeah the new outfit.  Run it under hot water and hope for the best.  Clean up table, chairs, floor, etc.  Oh crap!  The dinner's still on the heat!  Turn the heat off, move the skillet, check the rice.  For the second prayer of the night...Thank you God!  It's not stuck to the bottom.  Clean up Sugarplum who is dancing and twirling at this point, completely oblivious to the chaos this has caused.  Serve dinner.  Think gotta clean that Baby out so she doesn't get stopped up.  Yep that happens to babydolls too.  Clean up dinner.  Take Baby Alive in to bathroom with Sugarplum to rinse her out.  Sugarplum asks to "wash" Baby Alive for bedtime.  Become amazed as I watch Sugarplum wash just Baby Alive's feet which reminds me that Jesus washed the feet of those disciples so long ago.  Final prayer of the night...Thank you God for giving me this precious child to raise.  Put a new diaper on her Baby, get Sugarplum into her jammies and send them on their way to watch The Goodnight Show. 

It's not what most people would have called a nice night but I'm thankful for the lesson learned.  Even when things are insane, find the simple joy and just enjoy it.  Besides, when I checked Bitty and the clothing this morning, not a speck of orange peas anywhere to be found.  I must be getting the hang of this mommy thing afterall.

Creative Outlet

It's looking like maybe this blogging is letting my creative juices start flowing.  I completely revamped my Etsy diaper and towel cake shop tonight.  Anyone who reads this blog can get FREE SHIPPING on anything from my shop by entering coupon code OurDailyLife2gether during checkout to celebrate the rejuvenation of my shop.  All of the cakes sold in my etsy shop are customizable according to your whimsy.  The name of my shop is www.babycakesbyt.etsy.com.  Please share this with everyone you know and order anytime.  If you have any questions, just email or contact me through the shop.

Now that I'm done blatently plugging my startup business...he he he...I also added a lot to my blog page.  Please scroll through and let me know if you don't like how something looks.  However if you don't like one of my gadgets, oh well, it's my blog not yours.  We have a two year old.  That is a valid statement in our house at this time!

I've been busy researching education opportunities in the state.  So far it looks like I've only got a couple of real options.
I love (not) how accelerated learning programs for the working adult are "completely online, except for these two classes that you have to be on campus to complete and that practicum that is really full time free labor on the job training".  Ugh...really...are these people completely out of touch with reality?!  Who the heck can get their boss to let them take 2-3 weeks off in the summer to take an on campus class?  Not to mention the fact that most of those targeted "working adults" have families that they can't just abandon for 2-3 weeks at a time.  If we could do that we wouldn't be "working adults", we'd be "occupiers".  Give me a freakin break and check in with the rest of us here in the real world! 

I'm saying a prayer that this next college rep doesn't say this same thing or I may just completely lose my mind. 
As far as the rest of our week since my last blog, it's been the usual busy weeknights that consist of dinner, dishes, bath, Bubble Guppies, bedtime story and bed, with a night of bowling night for DH thrown in the mix.  That is of course Sugarplum's FAVORITE night of the week by far.  Who wouldn't love to have a massive open space to run and be loud in and the bartender and waitress know your favorite drink and have it ready for you when you get there, regardless of your age?!  In case your wondering...it's chocolate milk for the tot. 

DH is off to work in the morning for a 13 hour day at job #2 for more training then an 8 hour day on Sunday.  Can't wait until next weekend when he's home with us!  Sugarplum and I will have to find something to get into this weekend.  Maybe we will get lucky and find a pool to plunge into or if the weather holds out we can go sledding.  Either way, rest assured it will be just "two hot chicks out on the town" as Sugarplum loves to say when we have our girls' only outings.  Ask any mom...say it once and your little ones will latch onto it forever. 

Hopefully I will get a chance to post before the end of the weekend.  Have a blessed, fun couple of days!